Nails for breakfast

She eats nails for breakfast

Two helpings of congealed hope for lunch

A small snack of despair late in the afternoon

Dinner is a main of slightly burnt longing, with a side dish of supressed sobs

A crystal glass half empty with misunderstanding

Finshed off with Souffle a la Chaos and maybe just a hint of heartbreak

Nothing to me

You can’t hear me

Inside I'm screaming

Crying out

My heart a glass room

You are looking in

I am nothing

You see right through me

With one look you shatter my heart

And walk away

I'm whispering your name

Broken

Shards of glittering glass lie in place of my heart

I'm bleeding

Tasting the salt of my tears

But you keep walking away

I'm calling to you

Asking you

Begging you

Pleading

Only you don’t hear me

Can’t hear me

Won't hear me

My heart will fix itself in time but it will never be whole

There will always be a part of me that’s in you

A tiny shard of glass that is still lying on that floor

Bleeding

And crying for you

Where that shard you’ve taken from me used to be there is cold hard steel

That steel is in my heart now

Next time you wont break me ‘cause you can only break a heart once

It can only be broken when its perfect

Fragile

New

But now it’s broken

That once innocent, trusting heart is gone and there is steel in its place

You cant hurt me any more

I don’t love you anymore

You are nothing to me

No one

I don’t know you

You are nothing to me

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing

I crave

Right now I crave:

Basshunter - Angel in the Night

Oranges

Perfect sunshine - just warm, not hot

Milk chocolate buttons

Foo and Joy

A massive squishy bed with like a million pillows and cushy duvets (that has nothing to do with Foo or Joy, I promise. Well, maybe a little to do with Joy . . . . JOKING HUN)

Sadly, the only thing I have right now to look foward to is washing my hair and eating breakfast at 2.30pm.

Lazy sod I am.

I am a lazy sod.

A lazy sod is me.

What is a lazy sod? Me.

LEAVING NOW CHOW CHOW

Parents

Today i was trying to do some budgeting, writing in a random note book I found lying on the desk.

I was flipping through it, when I came across something my mother had written a few months back, when she went to France on her own.

It was basically a diary, letters almost, to my dad.

Just saying how she wished he was there, and what she was doing and where she was going and how much fun they would have if he was there.

It made me so amazed, that after just over 27 years of marriage, they could still be so close - not just as lovers, but as friends.

To have someone like that in your life, to find someone who you are able to be with 14/7 and still love them and being with them - that amazes me.

I am so lucky, I think, that my parents are so strong in their relationship - so many of my friends have parents who are no longer together.

Parents are ultimately - no matter if they are the very worst kind of people - your role models from a young age.

Always it is subconsciously their approval you are looking for.

And for this strong, unbeatable, never-faltering force which is you parents to suddenly crumble, and you find out that they are only human too - that is truly growing up.

To find that your mother and father have weaknesses is to see that they are not always right, that you must now decide if you want to live with their beliefs or your own.

Because what if they are not right.

What if they are . . .

*dramatic music plays*

. . . wait for it . . .

*music reaches a crescendo*

. . . . wrong . . .

Overuse of the word Maybe

In reading a friends blog, I got to thinking.

It's scary to think of all the times during our day that we completely pass so many people by. Maybe that girl at the supermarket checkout will someday give birth to a murderer.

Maybe that small child playing in the sand will be the next Prime Minister.

Maybe that geeky looking guy dropping his books in the middle of the footpath will someday find the cure for cancer.

I can't believe I just stereotyped like that.

Honestly Shyla.

So what, geeky looking = find the cure for cancer?

How much books and movies have brainwashed us is incredible.

Maybe it's not always the class nerd who will go on to do great things.

Maybe that just makes us feel better for not being the most popular kid in class - but then hey, it worked for Peter Parker.

Today

Today I smiled at an old lady mailing letters by my bus stop.

Ate a packet of Oreos.

I wonder if everyone peels Oreos apart and eats the side without icing first, then eats the best bit (icing and half a biscuit) last? Or is that just me...

Realised that my right boob is actually bigger than my left.

Lovely.

Who doesn't want lopsided breasts.